Screw Up Tuesday

Screw Up Tuesday is the brainchild of Bettina. Once a week we can confess our screw ups, good for the soul right .

I’m cranky. Damn cranky.

I made a chocolate cheesecake and couldn’t resist tampering with the recipe and now it tastes like a jaffa (no not the super sexy Teal’c from SG1 but those orange flavoured chocolate ball abominations). Not just an ordinary disgusting jaffa, but a jaffa with the texture of milk that has been sitting on the car dashboard in the sun for a week. Kind of cheesecake like but with odd lumpy bits and other kindy of runny bits. Really not good and even my children wont eat it because apparently they have learnt some kind of discrimination about foodstuff despite my best efforts.

But all is okay because I have 6 tubs of frozen cookie dough. 6 whole tubs of frozen cookie dough, what was I thinking ordering 6 tubs of frozen cookie dough. Oh yeah that

Green Leafy Vegetables are Teh Evil

and we could live on cookie dough instead. Which is apparently cruel and nasty and wrong and bad parenting. Here have some frozen cookie dough kid (by the time you finish chewing it I should be far enough away to not hear the whining).

Then to compensate for the cookie dough I made the decision to serve lightly steamed cabbage with fried bacon pieces for dinner (and because we had a half a cabbage that I didn’t know what else to do with and everything tastes better with bacon and a little bit of butter right?). Well that was an equally stupid idea but I’m focusing on the important silver lining that is Crohns disease induced weight loss. Provided I don’t decide to keep trying at this cheesecake thing until I start turning out something edible.

And there is a screw up in itself, not the cheesecake, I already rambled on about the cheesecake up above. No the baking thing, I bake when I’m stressed, I make bread, I’ve perfected making bread, I can turn out a really awesome loaf of bread on auto pilot now. So I’ve moved on to other baking related areas, making cakes and biscuits and one day Annie wants me to get into the fruit bun production. I can look at a list of ingredients and know exactly what size bowl I’m going to need from the measurements listed in the recipe. I know which specific kitchen impliment is going to work for which task and why i need the silicone spatula for a certain type of mixing and not the hard plastic one or why a hand whisk would work better in one situation and the electric mixer in another. So I bake and bake and bake because life is just too fracking stressful for words right now and I get better and better at this baking thing the more I do it and it feels good to do something successful (even if the end result is inedible the actual production of it went really well). Then I have this massive mountain of dirty dishes, bowls, spatulas, whisks, mixers to clean. And that makes me stressed because I hate washing dishes, I really really loath it, well unless it is a freezing cold day and my hands have turned into iceblocks and I need a way to defrost them.

I have not picked up needle and thread in longer than I can remember, I’m suffering stitchers withdrawal. What is worse is that hubbys kettle at work broke so he took ours to work (because I said he could) and thus I’m also suffering caffeine withdrawal. And it is so totally his fault and nothing at all to do with the fact that the mere smell of coffee sets my gut on its way to exploding out my poo hole (thanks Annie). Now I’m boiling a saucepan of water on the stove and then forgetting it is there and it boils almost dry and I have just enough left in the bottom of the pan to melt my coffee and end up drinking lots of iced coffee. I could heat the coffee water in the microwave but that makes it taste funny and I could use the coffee percolator but that would be really evil for my crohns and result in me living in the toilet. Plus I shouldn’t be drinking coffee at all but how am I meant to stay awake I ask you?

Cranky = screw ups.

Here endeth the lesson.