I’m over at Quit Your Day Job with a guest post (thanks to the fabulous Lee for asking me), it is all about the perils and wonders of taking your children out for coffee.
And for those who are interested I did a social story to tell Heidi that Granddad is dead.
download .pdf click here – granddad-is-dead
After much talk with Heidi’s early intervention teacher we went with simple, blunt and to the point. Anything else would we thought cause too much confusion for Heidi. She did not see his body, we are not talking to her about heaven or the after life. Maybe later but for now plain and simple, granddad is dead, he is gone, we will not see him again, it is okay to be sad.
Neither of my girls are attending the funeral on Thursday. Heidi, because we don’t think it would be of any help to her grieving and the crowds and noise would terrify her, going to Church for a regular service is difficult at the best of times, let alone for a funeral service. Annie, because when we asked she said she did not want to go. I’m lucky that Heidis respite carer was available on Thursday for the day and a friend from our church is taking Annie to a farm for the day.
Thank you for everyone for your comments and emails, it has been a wonderful support knowing that people care so much.
Heidi and Granddad 19th Oct 2005:
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| From Random Stuff |
Annie and Granddad 23 Nov 2005:
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| From Random Stuff |
6 responses so far ↓
Barbara // November 11, 2008 at 6:39 pm |
I love the happy pictures of your father in law with the girls. Thinking of you with love.
Chiloe // November 11, 2008 at 7:12 pm |
They say it is not good to tell kids the dead one is in heaven because kids need to know where is the person = cementary. The body in the cementary, the soul in heaven. It can be shocking as one day, at the hospital, a lady asked a little boy if he was the one to be sick and the little replied: ” no it’s not me, it was my brother but now, he is in the cementary ” …
How is your husband doing?
Sending you lots of hugs .
Bettina // November 12, 2008 at 1:03 pm |
You’re doing great at handling all this and helping your family to as well.
hugs
Jayne // November 13, 2008 at 7:29 am |
Lovely photos (((hugs)))
Helen // November 13, 2008 at 10:17 am |
I think for any young child the facts are best told straight and simple. They will sort things out in their own minds and then if they want more information they will ask for it – if they do not ask it is usually because they do not need that information yet.
MaryLou // January 29, 2009 at 10:05 pm |
You are helping you daughters with this difficult time. Keep their memories of their grandad alive for them.
My boys now 3.5 & 4.5 lost their “Papa” just two years ago. They had a very close relationship and his passing was not expected. They both talk about him frequently and get sad and cry. They attended the funeral and understand that they will not see him again. But the grieving process takes time. We also lost my MIL (she had been ill) the spring before and Great-Gram in-between, so death and dying have been explained. We are actually surprised at how often they mention Papa and how much they remember for being so young. He was a wonderful man and we all miss him!