Getting Help

Okay so the last few months we’ve been working on getting help for Annie and I thought I’d do a post to answer some of the Google searches I’ve been getting.

“Child not happy at school”
“Anxious child”
“Self esteem problems in girls”
“Kid running away”

We realised in first term that things were not going smoothly at school for Annie.

First step:

Talk to the Teacher and the school Principal. We made them aware of the problems and enlisted them into ‘Team Annie’ so we could work together to solve the problems.

Hint - always put things in writing, email is good because then you have a copy as well, I’d email the principal and send a hardcopy of the email to the teacher.

Second step:

Annie started to see the school chaplain which was incredibly helpful as it gave her
a) person to talk to
b) somewhere to go to get away from the school yard at lunch time

Third step:

Talk to our GP – local doctor who we see for all our every day health issues. She referred us on for family counseling but we were having trouble accessing a service that would see all of us.

Fourth step:

I talked to our Pastor and we were able to get some support through the Church.

Hint - it is okay to say you need help, it is okay to admit there is something wrong – doing these things is not a sign of weakness, it is in fact the opposite, you need to be strong to admit that you are not perfect. You are unlikely to get help until you say “I need help”.

Fifth Step –
School Nurse – she came to the school to visit Annie. I asked to see her myself, we talked about the problems Annie was having and that I was having with Annie. She referred us on to local health service Counselor.

Hint – not everybody knows everything, by talking honestly to as many people as I could, I was able to access more and more services and support. Now I didn’t go out telling strangers our problems but I talked to people I knew would be in a position to help, other parents of children with problems, the teacher, the principal, our pastor, the doctor, the school nurse etc Each one opened a new avenue of assistance that I had not realised existed.

Sixth Step

The Counselor, she was amazing. Robin our Counselor was the first to suggest a label for what was troubling Annie. She also gave us concrete assistance with manging Annie’s anxiety problems:
- a worry box so that Annie could write her troubles on a piece of paper and put them in the worry box for me to read later, colour coded using the ‘Traffic Light’ system green for minor worry, orange for a medium worry and red for a big worry.
- ‘Traffic Light’ system for behaviour problems, red light behaviour included – running away, throwing things in the car. A day with no red light behaviour got a sticker on the chart, several days of no red light behaviour got a reward of Annie’s choice, in this case baking with Mummy.

Seventh Step

Go back to the School Principal and Teacher and talk to them further, raise the issue of the label, ask for Psychological assessment to be done through the school.

Eighth Step

School psychologist saw Annie and did her assessment and recommended that we get Annie tested by an occupational therapist for processing problems.

Hint You are going to start getting lots of paperwork at this stage, figure out a filing system that works for you and start using it. For me a plastic document wallet worked best, I could slip the papers in without worrying about hole punching or anything else, it was sturdy and most important *portable*. When we go out to appointments I just grab the plastic document wallet with Annies paperwork and off we go. For Heidi who has several more years of this stuff behind her I use a really nice A-Z document wallet I got at extremely expensive stationery chain I forgot the name of again.

Where was I?

Ninth Step

By now I was hearing from lots of different people that it was ‘just social skills’ or ‘just processing speed problems’ or ‘just anxiety’ and I realised we needed an overall assessment. Usually I would have gone to see our Paediatrician but she was on parental leave so I rang LaTrobe University Psych Dept and spoke to them about who we could see. They were the ones who initially recommended Dr Manjiviona. Then one of the parents at school recommended her and finally Tony Attwood at his recent talks in Ballarat recommended her. That seemed to be a holy trinity of signs so I rang her and made an appointment.

Tenth Step

Dr Manjiviona asked for speech assessments for Annie so I made an appointment with private speech therapist she had recommended which thankfully was the same person we already see for Heidi. The speech therapist arranged to do a one on one assessment with Annie in her rooms and also go out to school to see Annie in her classroom and the playground.

Eleventh Step

We finally managed to get an appointment through our local council health services to see the Occupational Therapist. She did an assessment with Annie over the school holidays and is going to arrange a visit to the school also.

Hint - If you have Health Services in your area provided by local council it is worth investigating them. Often their is a wait list but children are usually prioritised. The cost is very low which is a huge blessing.

Twelfth Step

Keep everyone appraised of what everyone else is doing. I took some time to write emails, photocopy notes and send letters. This is really important especially with the school where Annie spends so much of her time.

Hint - Keep faith in yourself, many people doubted there was anything wrong and it was hard for me to keep going. I started to wonder if I was imaging things but I kept talking to people and reminding myself that I was the only one getting feedback on all aspects of Annie’s life, I was the only one with the big picture.

Thirteenth Step

Visited the Dr Manjiviona the Clinical Psychologist and now we finally have an official diagnosis. Thank god, it is such a relief.

Where to from here? I don’t know yet but I do know I’m on the right path.

Other places that can help
Centrelink, if you are in Australia you can claim a small (and I do mean small) allowance called Carers Allowance.
Autism Victoria
Carers Australia
Wrong Planet – a fantastic internet forum

These are mostly autism specific because in our family that is what we are working with.

And of course there is the whole internet out there to get information from, just remember to read with a critical eye, don’t believe everything that is said online, check your facts, talk to the professionals you have contact with in real life.